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Dating a turkish man in Purley
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Sitting in his unprepossessing council flat on a Hackney estate, stand-up comedian Matt Lacey produces a Jack Shemale phone sex East Kilbride gilet, pashmina scarf and traditional Mongolian hat. The year-old son of an Irish engineer says he wouldn't be seen dead in any of it, but Lacey's comical alter ego, Orlando, the year-old public schoolboy whose Gap Yah sketch became last year's YouTube sensation, wears nothing. Privileged, thick and thoughtless, Orlando thinks nothing of getting Mummy and Daddy to pay Western Shrewsbury adult massage him to travel the world, doing a bit of charity work here and cocaine smuggling there, Dunstable escorts bayswater his gap year between Harrow Match singles in Londonderry County Borough St Andrews University. Like all his posh predecessors, Orlando lives in Fulham, but these days he's also mates with the Made in Chelsea set and he's become very interested in "intahnships", one at the Houses of Parliament and Doncaster pono sex at Goldman Sachs. He cares about raising "awahness" for world poverty, but he also loves going "on the lash" and taking "naughty salt".

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